Le Blog Noteur

An American in Paris

Cristiano Ronaldo and his troupe

The hairstyles of European soccer superstars

As American I find Paris an incredibly fascinating city. Compared to my own Miami, Paris is an architectural gem, no joke! I love going for long walks through the old city center that is so well kept and each corner hides a treasure however small it may be.

Now having said how much I love Paris, there’s one thing I won’t agree with and that is the culture for soccer or as they and the rest of Europeans call it, “football”. I can understand that soccer is the national sport for these guys (although I hear a good % of the population prefers rugby) but people go crazy over football here even if the teams in France aren’t as good as the Spanish ones or the English ones.

I have only been 6 months in Paris but I have seen the streets deserted when it was time for a match between the local Parisian club Paris Saint-Germain F.C and Olympique Marseille (this event is known as The Classic). This only happens twice or thrice in a year but it’s incredible seeing the streets of Paris with no pedestrians other than tourists (and me!).

Today at class I was being introduced to the whole range soccer superstars in Europe and during lunch I decided to research a bit more on them to write a post today on my blog. I know that in the States us guys don’t pay much attention to hair and hairstyles but the one common thing among European soccer players is their hair and their wearing of all sorts of fancy hairstyles. So today’s post will be a blend of the best soccer players in Europe and their hairstyles.

Fasten your seatbelts.

Cristiano Ronaldo, the diva of men’s hairstyles

Cristiano Ronaldo is the pretty boy of soccer apparently. Cristiano Ronaldo plays for Spanish Real Madrid and he is quite skillful with the ball. Cristiano Ronaldo also has the looks of a model from Jersey Shore and Ronaldo’s hair is always shaped in some complex manner which means that Cristiano Ronaldo’s hairstyles are always trending whatever the style (have a look at the link for more of his hairstyles). Cristiano Ronaldo has even popularized mullets again although he is usually seen with hairstyles that no male in the United States would ever wear.

cristiano ronaldo

Lionel Messi, boring hairstyle but great skills

Standing at 5’7 feet, Leo Messi is arguably the world’s best soccer player ever. Unlike Cristiano Ronaldo, Leo Messi is one ugly gnome although Leo Messis’s hairstyles are much more normal than Cristiano Ronaldo’s hairstyles so that’s a plus for Messi. In fact I believe Leo Messi is going bald but with the amount of money he makes I doubt he cares whatsoever.

Leo Messi plays for FC Barcelona (the archi-rivals of Real Madrid for whom Ronaldo plays for) and Leo Messi has won so far a whooping 4 Ballon D’Or trophies which is the epic trophy for the world’s most valuable player of the year (or something like that).

Andres Iniesta, he has no hair

Also playing for FC Barcelona, Andres Iniesta is arguably the world’s second best soccer player after Leo Messi (and together with Cristiano Ronaldo). Andres Iniesta scored the winning goal for his country Spain in the last World Cup in South Africa, so Andres Iniesta is seen like saint in his home country Spain.

Unlike Cristiano Ronaldo and Leo Messi, Andres Iniesta is 100% balding and his case is very bad too. But again Iniesta is earning so much money he couldn’t care less.

Neymar, it’s always a carnival in his hair

I was told apparently Neymar is severely hyped since he hasn’t played for a team outside of his natal Brazil. While Brazil was the best place for soccer in the 70s it has since changed and Brazil nowadays only has a mediocre soccer league. FWIW Neymar’s hair is even weirder than that of Cristiano Ronaldo, with Neymar trying all kinds of mullet (proper hillbilly mullets).


Neymar signed for FC Barcelona a couple of months ago and he is doing fairly well, including his hair.

Sergio Ramos, he dyed his hair blonde and blinded everyone

Sergio Ramos is the defender for Real Madrid and world champion Spain. My eyes are not trained to discern what is good skill in soccer and what isn’t but Sergio Ramos seems to be the best out of the whole lot of European defenders.

One thing though, Sergio Ramos also has some form of hair dysmorphia like his teammate Cristiano Ronaldo and some months ago Sergio Ramos dyed his hair platinum blonde. The picture is below…

sergio ramos


Mario Balotelli, his hair is alive

Mario Balotelli is a true Italian: he has an Italian surname, he speaks Italian, he has character,  he loves pasta and he is black (oh wait…). And he also likes to do all kind of fancy crap with his hair like mohawk hairstyles (on a black dude, no less) or paint his hair green.

Other than his stupid hairstyling hobbies, Mario Balotelli is a great soccer player who is young enough to still mature much more and hoepfully become an even better soccer player.

These soccer players are just some of whom I learned of today at class chatting with my class peers. All of the listed soccer players are great at what they do but some of them truly have some bizarre hair fetishes.

A bientot!

by elparis 0